Deciding to end a marriage is often hard, but if domestic violence is involved, it can be overwhelming and possibly dangerous. Worried about triggering their husband or wife, many abuse victims wonder if it’s possible to file for divorce without their spouses knowing.
The short answer is that you must legally notify your spouse that you have filed for divorce. However, there are ways to protect yourself as you begin the divorce process.
California offers “no-fault” divorce
You don’t need to prove that your spouse is abusive to file for divorce. You simply need to declare that you have irreconcilable differences to end the marriage. There doesn’t have to be a mention of domestic violence on your divorce petition.
To start the divorce process, you file a Petition for Dissolution with the court. Your spouse is formally notified when they are “served” with divorce papers. Without the notification, the court can’t move forward with the divorce.
The importance of taking precautions
If you’re worried about how your spouse will react to being served, you may be relieved to know that usually a third-party, such as a professional process server or someone from the sheriff’s office, will take care of the notification. In some situations, service may be coordinated with the local police to ensure safety.
Additionally, California’s “Safe at Home” program is designed for those living with threats or harassment. It permits you to use a confidential mailing address so your actual location remains hidden from your abusive spouse during the divorce process.
You can also file for a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) either before or at the same time you file for divorce. A DVRO can restrict your spouse from contacting you and help to maintain distance throughout the proceedings.
Divorce filings are public records, meaning anyone can access them. However, if privacy is critical and you’re concerned about your safety, you may be able to obtain a court order to seal your record or redact sensitive information to reduce exposure.
Filing for divorce from an abusive spouse requires careful planning. A legal professional who knows how to handle high-conflict and domestic violence cases can guide you through the process and help to ensure your safety.
